Happy Birthday Simon Henley!


I think that my milk is coming in!  Breasts are larger, lumpier and more painful, and I am producing appx 45mls at a time.

Arrived at hospital about 8.45am.  We were able to spend some time with our babies before the doctors started their rounds.  Esther is doing better.  Her breathing is easier, her bloods are normalising and she is tolerating milk.  Esther is being fed 1ml every 2 hours through a nasalgastric tube. 

William is not feeding at the moment and though the doctors are not overly worried at the moment there are lots of little things wrong.  Some of these could be signs that William is getting an infection.  One precautionary measure they are taking this morning is removing his umbilical line and replacing it with a ‘long line’ through his veins like Esther.

They both seem so peaceful, it is hard to believe that there is anything wrong with them, that so much could go wrong.  I love them both so much and could not bear it if anything happened to them now.  I want to take them home!

Both babies have lost about 15% of their birth weight.  This is apparently normal.

I sit and stare at these two beautiful beings and cannot believe that they are mine, that they were inside of me! Just 5 days ago!

William is crying as the doctor works on him.  I am sat with Esther but my heart is breaking hearing William cry.  So this is what it feels like to be a Mum?!  You feel the fear and pain of three people not just one.  I am sure that Esther could feel her brother’s pain too as she got quite restless each time that William cried. 

His line procedure did not seem to go as smoothly as Esther’s.  The first doctor could not get the line in and so a second doctor had to try.  Poor William sounded so, so upset.  Please let them get the line in and let him be alright!

William’s line was in before lunch and they were waiting for contrast and xray. 

Before my lunch and expression I comfort held Esther in her incubator as she was upset and then I changed her nappy.  She had done a big poo and once her new nappy was on she was much more settled and her heart rate went down.  She spent about 5 minutes awake just watching me, or so it seemed, as I held her and spoke to her softly.  She is such a beautiful little girl and I love her with all my heart.  I made a video of Esther with her eyes open for David.  It is such a shame that he has to go and work.  I know that there is stuff that I should be doing too but I like being with our babies.  So hard to know what to do!

Expressing is going well.  Getting about 30mls from each breast each time.  The milk is all stored in the freezer, ready for when it is needed.

Hoping to do William’s care now as his long line is in and okay.  William’s line is in a good position.  I gave him a little wash and changed his messy nappy.  Both babies are out for the count now.  Will Henley is a fighter too, having his line threaded without any pain relief because of his distended stomach.  What a brave boy! Braveheart!

Went to Folkestone Ward for my postnatal check and all is well.  Will go back again on Friday for another check.

A long day at the hospital today.  Never sure where to sit, who to watch, which baby to be with …

Looking out at the sunshine and knowing my summer is over.  That every day will be here, watching and learning and getting to know our babies.  Everyone thinks that I should use this time to learn to driv and I know that they are right for so many reasons.  It will be a good way of getting to and from the hospital but if I have not passed my test by the time they come home I know that I won’t want to leave their side.

Esther is sleeping with one leg in the air! I love her!  She is still taking my milk.  She had really loud hiccups this afternoon that made me and everyone else on the ward giggle.  She flung her legs in the air with each hic!  Our beautiful hiccupping froglet! Our Star!  To calm her down I sang to her ‘There was a princess long ago…’, she seemed to really like it.

William was quite unsettled at times this afternoon.  I comfort held him which helped and we covered his incubator to give him some chill out, darkened time.  He seemed to like that and began to settle down. 

William’s nurse explained today that once they are out of humidity we can cover them over more which helps them to feel more secure.  For this we will need blankets and swaddle robes.  Once they start to come off CPAP we can introduce clothes – babygros – but that is still a way off yet.

Doctors came round again at 3.40pm and are happy with both the twins, though William is suffering more than Esther at the moment.  Esther is such a fidgeter! Such a fidget!


About willest

Very proud 34 year old Mum of twins William and Esther, born on 24th July 2010 at 27 weeks and 3 days
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